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A couple of weeks ago we ran the story of women who have walked out of their marriages for various reaons. This week we talk to another type of woman: the one whose existence is validated by her marriage, no matter how hellish it is.

It started out as a cry for recognistion from the wives of men who are addicted to the bottle. They described vividly the private hells they live in - the beatings, the humiliation of being cheated on again and again, the tedious task of cleaning up their husbands' filth, the fears for their children...As I listened, one question kept running through my mind: why stay?

The ansers I got made it increasingly clear that these women had addictions of their own. Whether it was the posh lifestyle or the status that comes with being married or even feeling of being needed there to be "saviours" of their drunk husbands, the reasons were strong enough to make them endure the suffering.

And they are suffering, albiet silently - they wouldn't even agree to have their real names published. One felt that her husband's reputation and his business empire would come crashing down if she revealed her identity. Another so feared her man's violent tantrums that she beilieved he'd kill her if he found out. The third woman couldn't stand the truth - that her marriage is a sham - to comeout. What would her friends, her mother, the church say?

And so they continue to cling to their sacrificial lamb mentality, believing (or choosing to ignore) that there is nothing they can do to change their circumstances. meet Miriam, Rose, Purity.

Miriam, 35

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