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Can you remember why you started drinking alcohol, the first taste, the first drink, was it beer, wine, spirits, traditional or illicit brew?

Fashionable can be described as a situation where something is all the rage, cool, in vogue, modish, popular or even happening, popular or prevailing; something which catches public fancy, and suddenly everyone wants to be a part of it.

However, when the public do not want to be associated with something, they shun, ostracise and stigmatize it. This is also the case with issues and happenings that they cannot understand, where the issues have been cocooned and shrouded in so much myth and prejudice that it is no longer possible to make a level-headed, sober opinion.

But were the same subject to become fashionable then the fickle trend public opinion is quickly swayed and everybody clamours to advocate for the cause. Suddenly the pungent onion-like layers of myth and misconception are peeled back with the greatest of ease, and minimal tearing of the eyes, to reveal the shining truth, which has been there all along.

Alcoholism in Kenya is still surrounded by all sorts of fallacies and outright prejudice which contribute directly to the level of shame felt by it's victims as well as their families. Indeed this shame is so great that alcoholism can be called a shame-based disease.

The third National Alcohol Awareness Month- Kenya kicked off on Sunday 1st October. The event which runs during the month of October this year has as its theme "Alcoholism is a treatable Disease" and this is an opportune time to get rid of this shame and get our loved ones into treatment.

Shame is felt not only by the alcoholic who is puzzled by his seeming inability to reach his or her set objectives, while lying, stealing and conning all and sundry, but also the family for their apparent inability to control their loved ones run-amok drinking. Both the alcoholic and the family have become powerless over alcohol making both their lives unmanageable.

Ultimately, this then is the precise reason why thousands of alcoholics are dying - shame! For it is this shame which prevents alcoholics or their families looking for treatment, preferring instead to deny the existence of the problem or to try and fight it out themselves. "This is a family problem, we don't need to wash our dirty linen in public."

Shame is what holds these families back from actively making any all-out, sincere attempts at getting help even when they do finally grudgingly admit that alcoholism ("maybe he/she drinks a bit too much!") could exist.

They instead make half-hearted attempts, to get help by asking 'close friends' or relatives beginning their hesitant probings with queries such as "I have a friend whose son, husband, daughter…might have a problem with alcohol. Since they approached me in confidence and nobody in our family has any such problem, and since too they are so desperate, and I don't want to let them down, maybe you know someone…"

Of course the friend is probably as ignorant and prejudiced as the next Kenyan and will most likely end up passing on a bit of myth couched however as helpful advice with the admonition "I read somewhere that this is the best thing to do."

So off dashes the desperate Kenyan to do the 'best thing' for their loved one only to crash in flames as the attempt fails miserably and painfully. Before the dust even settles, they are off to the next friend or relative for more solutions with the same result; pain, pain and more pain. Failure! Desperation!

All the while, the alcoholic (who does not know he is an alcoholic) is drinking each time promising himself, that this time it will be different only to end up drunk again until the next time. This then is the insanity of alcoholism, doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result each time.

Yet if the whole battalion of well-meaning friends and relatives would only admit that the person was suffering from alcoholism they would be one step closer to restoring everybody's lives to manageability. For by admitting this they would be able to look in the right direction for help.

Here the first step would be to arm one's self with as much information about the disease of alcoholism as possible so as to be able to know what exactly the problem is as well as equally important, decide on a course of treatment. For there are so many vested interests in the treatment of alcoholism, with many greedy quacks merely viewing Kenyans distress with the drug alcohol as a cash-cow to be milked to the last drop, that the result is as many claims to correct treatment as there are types of alcohol in the world.

This information would allow suffering families to detach emotionally from the problem and only then be able to look at it objectively. It would allow them to stop suffering almost immediately, for they would discover that alcoholism though not curable, is a treatable disease.

The excruciating agony they had been going through living with an alcoholic would almost instantly become a thing of the past for with this knowledge would come the understanding that their loved ones alcoholism was not their fault, that they did not cause it, and they could not cure it.

Their family member or significant other who was alcoholic was the problem and the solution. They would realise that all the things they had been trying to do, like get him a college, job, house, stereo, clothes or as I have heard countless times "something to do," were not the solution.

For it was not the job, house, wife, husband, clothes, car, college or nagging wife, bad boss which made them alcoholic, but their body chemistry which processed alcohol in a different manner from other drinkers and finally led to their being addicted to alcohol.

It would dawn on these families that alcoholics manipulated them so as to distract the focus away from their compulsive drinking, and consequently from the source of the problem which was in them, to external causes which had nothing to do with the disease. Upon realising this, the need to continue pandering to the alcoholic, mopping up after them (getting them out of police cells, paying court fines, hospital bills, begging head-teachers not to expel, no school fees for the kids, the list is endless) mostly at great financial and emotional expense could cease at once.

They were alcoholic; they now had to take responsibility for their recovery. No more making their loved ones feel guilty by manipulating them to do what they wanted thus turning them into enablers of continued drinking.

In my opinion this optimum scenario would save thousands of lives now being needlessly lost as the shame and stigma keeps alcoholics and their families from seeking help and therefore locked into a continuos cycle of drinking and denial often culminating in death.

But that as it were is far from the prevailing situation where even well meaning friends are often blinded by loyalty which prevents them from placing such a 'shameful' tag as alcoholism on their friend. They would instead give all kinds of rationalisations, which for the alcoholic only serves as vindication and justification for continued drinking.

These staunch friends even declare emotively that they would rather die than besmirch their buddy's name by calling him alcoholic. Unfortunately they do sometimes get their wish when they are involved in a car wreck driven by their alcoholic crony who instead survives without a scratch. But more often than not it is the alcoholic who dies from one or a combination of a myriad alcohol related causes.

Sadly, many families finally come to learn that alcoholism is disease and is treatable only after burying their sick member. Only then does the magnitude of the waste hit them. The sheer throat-tightening, heart-wrenching bleakness which comes with the realisation that this death was completely unnecessary. That it need not have - indeed should not have happened.

One of the noblest and indeed most gratifying things we can do is to save the life of another human being. Regardless of whether that person is our relative, tribesman or race, male or female. Merely unstintingly doing what it takes to prevent a needless death.

Alcoholism is not generally given credence in the Kenyan public domain as being a disease and instead suffers from millennia of stigma as being a sin and moral depravity. It is frowned upon merely as a habit and one that could be easily broken if only one were not completely lacking in will-power. Alcoholism is instead confused with drunkenness with its entire concomitant loathing and abhorrence.

We can no longer ignore this disaster. High blood pressure has often been called the silent killer. In Kenya that dubious distinction belongs undeniably to alcohol. It is time to make talk about alcohol and alcoholism 'fashionable.' This is the only chance to save the lives of countless Kenyans.

This was the case in the United States of America when in 1978 a former first lady Betty Ford spoke of being alcoholic, barely two years after leaving Washington, D.C. She said that her own experiences with shame and misery as a result of her addiction spurred her to use her position and prestige to help others.

David Ogot is a freelance journalist/producer with personal experience in alcoholism. He can be reached at goinghomedotcom@yahoo.com Website: www.goinghomekenya.org.

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