Get A Beer Account. Drinking will never be the same!

Published in the second issue of the monthly 'MONEY' magazine, September 2003

Want to save some money as you examine your drinking habits and whether or not you do have a drinking problem? Have you ever wondered if you could stop drinking alcoholic beverages at all or whether you are one of those people who fool themselves that they can stop anytime they like? Then why not open a ‘beer account’ and find out.

Before you do however, why not find out how much alcohol you drink. Let us assume that you drink beer. The average cost of Kenyan beer is 70 Kshs. This figure takes into account that at some venues the cost can get as high as Kshs. 150 and others lower at Kshs. 60 but that demographically more Kenyans on average drink in the cheaper venues than patronise high end ones. It also takes into account the various costs of different brands.

Therefore assuming that everyday you go by the local pub for 'one or two' with your mates and that you occasionally buy a few rounds or drinks and that you drink more on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays and during end of the month and public holidays, we can then average your consumption at five beers per day.

Translate this into Kshs. 2,450 per week, or 4,800/- per month, 58,000/- half-yearly or a staggering 117,600/- per year. This then is the amount you guzzle greedily, only subsequently to piss into the urinal or a nearby handy bush or wall.

But on a personal basis how would you assess your drinking habits? Are you a social drinker, problem drinker or an alcoholic? How do you know? What benchmarks would you use to reach your assessment? How much is too much?

As a recovering alcoholic I can only tell you that the line between social and problem drinking into alcoholism is so fine that you don’t even notice when you are crossing the border.

There is nobody to stop you with a warning that you enter at your own peril. That in this new land death lurks and indeed can and does strike round any corner.

You are on your own and suddenly what was bottled heaven, becomes canned hell. I could give you an assessment questionnaire to fill and hence assess your status as regards to your alcohol consumption. There are tens of these questionnaires and they are quite accurate but there is an easier way to assess your status. It’s very simple really. Just try and stop.

Yes - 'just try and stop.' Not for a week, or a month but at least a year. If you are telling yourself that that is silly, 'I don’t need a whole year to prove that I can stop' you definitely have a problem. 'Why can't I stop for a week maybe two, OK a month?'

Because all alcoholics are capable of stopping for brief periods of time and indeed do from time to time even if only to prove to themselves that they can. You yourself probably have done so on more than one occasion.

No the trick is to be able to see if you can do it for at least a minimum of one year, and have fun while doing it. This is why I came up with the idea of opening an account.

Many reputable banks nowadays have accounts with minimum startup amounts of Shs. 1,000/-. One such bank, which springs immediately to mind, is the Kenya Commercial Bank. So after only three days of not drinking you will have more than enough to open an account. From then on, put aside the money that you would have drank on that day and every Fridays, go to the ‘ba, ba...ba...ank! Instead of the bar.

Join the bank understanding that the rules of the game demand that every Friday you have to renew your membership for the week. Thus Fridays will still be 'members day' for you yet unlike other Kenyans to whom this signifies the beginning of a heavy drinking weekend, to you it will be banking day.

They say 'time is money' and how true I have found this old adage to be ever since I stopped drinking? Suddenly I realised that money was not the only thing I had been squandering in bars but something infinitely more important - time! Since I stopped drinking, I have not only learned new skills, but have actually begun living again.

I discovered I had been living in a blinding fog of alcohol that smothered all my senses, preventing me from experiencing things. It smothered ambition, purpose, love and caring for others. It smothered what I can only describe as my 'human beingness' that intricate mixture of so many qualities that make us human.

It smashed my plans, and sat heavily on my dreams causing them to spurt out of their brightly colored bubbles and drain into the dusty city pavements.

I learnt all this the hard way and not only learnt, but survived to tell the tale. Many of my colleagues did not and are long buried. So go ahead, crack open a beer account (instead of a beer) today find out for yourself if you really can stop.

Too there is a big bonus at the end of the one-year apart from the Kshs. 117,600/- that you will have and that is love. Love from your children who will see more of you in this one year than they probably have in the last five. Love from your spouse who will once again see you as they have not seen you since your courtship days. But most of all you will love yourself again for you will once more be a living human being.

No other account like the 'beer account' exists. For when you open this account you get so much more than money you get living back - for life! In fact if I were to coin a slogan for this bank it would go something like 'Be A Beer Account holder and live life - milele'

David Ogot snr. is a freelance journalist/producer who has had personal experience with alcoholism. He is also the author of ‘Dala Newsletter’ published on the Internet. He can be reached at goinghomedotcom@yahoo.com Website: www.goinghomekenya.org

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