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The family influence on personality is strongest during childhood. This is because you spend most of your time with your parents or guardians, and other family members. However, now you probably spend a consider - able amount of time outside your home with your peers.

Peers are people of about the same age and stage of development who share common interests and needs. Peer relationships during adolescence, however, begin to develop a particularly strong influence on personality. This strong influence is called peer pressure.

When the influence of a person's peers results in his or her self-improvement, the influence is known as positive peer pressure. This type of peer pressure may be in the form of practical suggestions involving personal appearance, physical activity, or academic performance. However, positive peer pressure is more often exerted by example. By working to succeed in a difficult course, you may influence some of your peers to try harder.

If you participate in a fitness program, you may influence some of your peers to participate also. In this manner, peers can help one another recognize the need for self-improvement. Peer groups frequently may change. Some peer relationships may break up while some new ones are started. Both circumstances are normal, particularly during the teen-age years.

There is also negative peer pressure. This kind of peer pressure can encourage others to behave irresponsibly. For example, several members of a peer group may encourage another member to skip school, or to write graffiti on the walls of the school. A mature person will usually decide against behaviour that is irresponsible.

Peer pressure is driven by the need to conform, to fit in, to belong to 'not look different.' By the time i was in form three I was already a drinker of alcoholic beverages and a cigarette smoker. But I had always steered clear of the other drugs like bhang (cannabis sativa), miraa khat, and by that time heroin and cocaine were things I only read about in books and saw in films. This was because I knew they were bad because I had been told and they were illegal. But finally in form three at one time with a bunch of my peers who were trying bhang I gave in to the exhortations of "come on don't be a sissy. One puff can't hurt"

Well in the end I took three puffs, and what I saw and felt, convinced me that bhang was illegal for a good reason. But at that time I simply gave in to my need to fit in and not rock the boat so to speak. In a desire to 'belong' I went against all I knew and ended up in a place I didn't want to go. It was akin to being powerless in a strong current. So the best idea is not to jump in in the first place.

Peer preassure is a hard thing to deal with, but you have to for in the end if you succumb to it, you can end up in some very nasty places where you know you don't want to go, but just get there as a result of just drifting with the crowd. These consequences are usually change the course of the rest of your life. What I learnt is that in the end the only person who gives a hoot about you, is you! The world will not notice, wll not even hiccup, if you get pregnant, get HIV/AIDs, loose a limb, get expelled from school, or even die! So love yourself and get to know who you are. At the end of the day you are your own best freind or worst enemy. And that is a fact of life.

See also 13 steps to assertive behavior. or also Please hear what I am not saying.

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