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SUGGESTIONS FOR THE RECOVERY FAMILY

For the Addicted Person

  1. You have earned distrust - expect it.
  2. Help your family learn about recovery and your major issues, such as your "dangerous situations", what your support group is like, and so on.
  3. Invite your family to join you at group meetings and make opportunities for them to meet some of your new positive friends.
  4. Be open to yourself and to "meeting" your family members again, because you may be seeing them in a new light, seeing they have strengths and weaknesses you have never noticed before.
  5. Try to make at least one family member a "partner in recovery", someone you can be fully open with.
  6. Do as much for yourself as you can without relying on family. But when you have a legitimate need, don't be too proud to ask them for help.

REMEMBER: YOUR RECOVERY DEPENDS ON YOU, NOT ON THE ACTIONS OR ATTITUDES OF YOUR FAMILY.

For the Other Family Members:

  1. Expect ups and downs, full recovery takes years.
  2. Get outside support (perhaps through other "recovering families") and develop outside interest.
  3. Learn more about recovery and how it affects families.
  4. Keep our home as free of drugs, psychoactive medicine, and alcohol as possible.
  5. Make your expectations and rules clear, and confront problems honestly; avoid giving lectures.
  6. Be open to meeting some of the addict's new friends; be willing to join in some recovery group activities
  7. Don't try to protect the addict from normal problems or provide help where it is not needed.

REMEMBER: YOU CANNOT MAKE SOMEONE RECOVER. OFFER THE SUPPORT AND LOVE YOU CAN, AND KEEP YOURSELF WELL. THAT IS THE BEST AND MOST THAT CAN BE DONE.

FOR BOTH THE ADDICTED PERSON AND THE OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS:
A FAMILY IS A LIVING UNIT, AND AS ONE PART OF THAT UNIT CHANGES, SO MUST ALL THE PARTS IN THEIR OWN WAY. FIND TIME REGULARLY TO DISCUSS PROBLEMS AND PROGRESS, AND BE OPEN. THERE IS NO ROOM ANYMORE FOR ARGUING AT HOME ABOUT WHO IS RIGHT AND WRONG. DO THINGS TOGETHER- GO TO MEETINGS, SOCIALIZE, FIX UP THE HOUSE. REMEMBER THE THREE C'S OF SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS: COMMUNICATION, COMPROMISE, AND COMMITMENT. BE PATIENT; LASTING CHANGE TAKES TIME.

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